World's Worst Courtesy Car

[Carrie]

Today, I had a courtesy car for the very first time whilst my car was having its timing belt done. My own car is a Corsa, so I expected to get a Corsa or similar.
What did I get? Hell on wheels, otherwise known as the Vauxhall Agila. For those of you who don't know this car, picture every 3 year olds drawing of their perfect car and you've got the Agila.
The Looks
Designed by a 3 year old, based upon that old favourite - Postman Pat's Van (this one was even the right colour)
The Speed
Or rather the lack of it, 0-60 in 2 1/2 hours if you're lucky. Actually, I did get the thing up to 70 and at that point it was having its best attempt to shake itself to pieces.
Our Engineers at work kindly offered to let me take the Bowser home because that might get me home quicker - the Bowser is our little 3 wheel trailer, top speed about 15mph
The Handling
The first problem was a straight line. Never take one of these things out in any sort of wind. It was hardly breezy today, but I was being buffeted about so much you'd have thought I was driving with a force 9 crosswind. This didn't inspire confidence because my journey to work involves driving over Barton Bridge - rather high motorway bridge.
Next came corners, this thing does not like corners. Road handling, the Agila has never heard of it!
The Engine
A 1 litre, enough said. Was I mad, I was setting out on the M60 (Manchester's orbital motorway) in a 1 litre sack of spuds (no offence meant to a sack of spuds, they'd probably roll faster!). You can forget about acceleration, you've got to be doing at least 45mph before the thing will even contemplate 4th gear.
Then there's the engine noise. I've driven quieter tractors! The Agila has perfected an impersonation of a panic stricken lawnmower.

At least it provided entertainment at work with people even venturing up to the carpark during the lunchbreak to witness this monster at first hand. Somehow I survived the day and happily I've now got my Corsa back So, over to you folks, what's the worst courtesy car you've ever had to drive?

[RIKB]

Never had a courtesy car Carrie, but isn't the Agilla, the thing that Vauxhall use to ferry photographers around in?

If so then I can confirm that being a passenger in one is a fairly nasty experience.

[Carrie]

Never had a courtesy car, believe me Rik, you're lucky.
The last coutesy car my boss had was a Fiat Punto and as he is noted for his hatred of Fiats, I had plenty of fun ribbing him about it. As he saw what I was driving today, he's now got enough ammunition to have a go at me for months to come!!!!!
No idea if the Agila is used to ferry photographers around, but the things have been sighted in the paddock at various BTCC meetings, so maybe.

[redshoes]

Think I can top that. Some years ago I used to own a 2CV (oi, stop laughing at the back). Anyhow I used to take to a local specialist, you know the sort of thing, one man band run from garage at the back of his house. The courtesy car he provided was a Citroen Diane, at least 10 or 15 years old and well past it's best before date. Just wish I had a photo to show you. It was painted alternating bright yellow and blue - doors one colour, wings the next, etc - with a huge garage logo across the bonnet and doors.

[SL]

I have no idea what this Vauxhall Agila car looks like, but for the sheer hell of it I might try and locate my nearest Vauxhall agent for a test drive at the weekend.

Is there ANY plus points ? Sunroof, Aircon, CD, Leather sets ? Did it do umpteen MPG, run on fresh air ?

My car is in for a service Tuesday so I will see what I get. I'm quite sure it will be a Focus 'cause thats what I had before.

Simon

[Carrie]

Simon, you asked for it. The Agila in all its hideous glory!


Shoes, I envy you, the Diane had the garage name plastered on it. Oh how I wish the Agila had. I was just panicking that people might think I was mad enough to have gone out and bought the thing. It's rather difficult trying to drive along and hide underneath the steering wheel out of sheer embarassment

[Ray Bell]

Is that a rebadged Daihatsu?

Cars should never be allowed to be that small...

[SL]

Ah,,,,,, thanks Carrie.

Thinks that the test drive will now be on hold until I am in an area where nobody knows me

Do you get one for each foot, or is that it ?

Simon

[TimD]

Carrie, you have my deepest sympathy.

I actually loathe pocket courtesy cars for a wholly different reason.

In my job I deal with company principals who have chosen a Volvo as their ride of preference. All fine and good. The modern Volvo range is an excellent brand with a solid image (plug, plug).

But ever since Ford bought the company, they've been.. err.. skimping on the courtesy cars. Which means that your captain of industry will take his S80 or V70 Estate or C70 Convertible in for service, and will be handed the keys to a courtesy Ford Ka !

Yes, the Ka. The only car on the market that comes with brown paper bags to cover your face with as a standard fitting. The ugliest, weediest, most pathetic little egg-shaped beastie that ever fell off a drawing board.

After the Vauxhall Agila, of course.

I have absolutely nothing to do with service or maintenance schedules in my particular job, and yet I've had to field outraged complaints from startled Volvo owners.

[Devlin]

Ray, that's a re-badged Suzuki Wagon, as a matter of fact. For some reason, Opel/Vauxhall liked the thing and decided to buy the blue prints off the Japanese maker (probably the deal of the century by Suzuki). Now, I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to small cars (but with a bit of pepper up their nose - Clio RS, 206 GTI, Punto HGT, you get the picture), but this... Anyway, I guess it has a lot to do with my disliking (to say the least) of "people-carriers"/"mini-vans" or whatever they prefer to call those...things. One of the most ridiculous names for a class of cars (and there are a lot of those in circulation right now) has got to be "micro-VAN"... I can probably accommodate more people and luggage on my MTB!

[Truckosaurus]

The bizarest courtesy car I had was a Subaru Justy which is basically a Suzuki Swift (sic) but with 4wd... Never got round to doing any mud plugging.

[elephino]

Funny you should mention Volvo cutting back. I heard Volvo Australia have cut back on many perks for the salespeople. Such as bonuses for selling lots of cars...Volvo will be losing a fair few salespeople from their cutbacks I'd say.

Now you should get a Lexus for courtesy cars. My mum put hers in for its 10,000km service. They picked up the car, left her another IS200 for her to use and then dropped off the car after.

[Niall]

Well that looks like some form of Korean motor.

Weren't you any way embaressed to be driving that.

PS: i hate when people say Vauxhall Corsa. its Opel Corsa

Niall

[Bluebottle]

Tim's Opel has Vauxhall written on the back.....

[Craig]

Did you really just admit that in public, Redshoes ?

Carrie, i'd have thought you'd have had no trouble hiding... reaching the pedals possibly

Worst courtesy car ? Well we had a renter at work which had done 400-500 miles from new when we had it. After 4 days on the fleet it was a wreck - a tyre had come off the rim, a rear bumper had come loose, and the engine was pinking something terrible and emmitting *large* amounts of smoke. We sent it back and never heard any more about it...!

It was, of course, a Hyundai...! Horrible, horrible car.

[elephino]

Everyone knows it's really a Holden Barina

[Valve Bounce]

Originally posted by TimD
Carrie, you have my deepest sympathy.

I actually loathe pocket courtesy cars for a wholly different reason.

In my job I deal with company principals who have chosen a Volvo as their ride of preference. All fine and good. The modern Volvo range is an excellent brand with a solid image (plug, plug).

But ever since Ford bought the company, they've been.. err.. skimping on the courtesy cars. Which means that your captain of industry will take his S80 or V70 Estate or C70 Convertible in for service, and will be handed the keys to a courtesy Ford Ka !

Yes, the Ka. The only car on the market that comes with brown paper bags to cover your face with as a standard fitting. The ugliest, weediest, most pathetic little egg-shaped beastie that ever fell off a drawing board.

After the Vauxhall Agila, of course.

I have absolutely nothing to do with service or maintenance schedules in my particular job, and yet I've had to field outraged complaints from startled Volvo owners.

So you guys think you are hard done by!! I took my V70 AWD in for service at Austral Motors in Fortitude Valley, Brisbane, Australia, and was told they don't provide a courtesy car. They just showed me where the bus stop was.

[elephino]

VB, I'm tempted to say that no courtesy car is part of Volvo's cutbacks.

I did find that the Volvo dealer down at Surfers' Paradise to be very good. Shame I can't remember their name. And if you're wondering why, then to let you know, it's because we had a S40 2.0T until last year and it decided it wanted to leak oil while up at Indy.

[mtpanorama]

Originally posted by Valve Bounce

So you guys think you are hard done by!! I took my V70 AWD in for service at Austral Motors in Fortitude Valley, Brisbane, Australia, and was told they don't provide a courtesy car. They just showed me where the bus stop was.

I thought the courtesy was that they took your Volvo off you for the day

[Airhead]

Not quite a courtessy car but...

I work for a Health Service that locally has 70 cars. There were two I really disliked being allocated and used to try to stay on the Transport Controller's good side to avoid them. Thankfully they have now gone to the great auctioneer in the sky.

The first was a pie van. A 1.4L Barina (Opel) van. I'm six foot three. I had to take my shoes off so that I didn't hit the brake pedal as well as the clutch when I changed gear. The second was another Opel product. A '97ish model Holden Astra. This was a 1.6L auto that couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding. It was also the tinniest car I have ever driven. Talk about built to a price. This car also had the distinction of smell. In it's past someone had used it to transport a Psychiatric patient to Newcastle (a four and a half hour trip one way). On the way down the patient had urinated on the back seat. Like litres apparently. They spent hundreds of dollars trying to get the smell out of that car. To no success.

[DAVID PATERSON]

I have a current model Ford Falcon, still under new car warranty, so of course I get it serviced by the local Ford dealer. I always get a courtesy car and the service staff like to present the courtesy car to me. Once it was a Kermit Green Ford Ka. The service guy was smiling proudly and about to show me all of its salient features when he heard me mutter under my brerath. "Oh ****! You're ****in' kidding me!" At this point he quickly opened the door, handed me the keys and ran away.

A friend of mine is a Ford man through and through and has raced Escorts for 25 years. He attended the motor show recently and was curious enough to look at a Ford Ka. When the salesman lifted the bonnet he proudly pointed out the "all new hi-tech Super Positron Zetec R Super Technotron.....whatever" engine. My stunned mate immediatly replied, "It's a Kent!!!" Oh no says the salesman, it's the "all new hi-tech Super Positron Zetec R Super Technotron.....whatever." My mate was flabbergasted, and continued, "It's a horrible, rattling, gutless, oil dripping, ancient Kent!" The salesman, gave up and found someone else to talk to.

Isn't it amazing that you can buy a brand new car, in the 21st century, with the same engine as the Anglias you see in Heartbeat, the British '60s cop show!

Carrie, the Agila you mention is sold in Australia as the Suzuki Wagon R+. A wag from Wheels magazine, said it made him dread to think what the wagon R- must be like.

[Ray Bell]

Now David, the Anglia had the carby and exhaust on the same side...

And there are many other engines in production that date back that far, when you think about it... Chev's 350... err... many?

I don't qualify for a loaner very often, but a friend took his Impreza in for service the other day and was granted the use of a Brumby... a horrible, old, rough-riding (close to the title!) rattly Brumby... not impressed.

Wouldn't have bothered me, I have to drive my own other car when I've got a car out of action...

Complete with burned valve.

[elephino]

David, it can't be a kent...it got a new engine cover

I thought about looking at a Ka at the Sydney Motorshow. Almost gave up trying to find the little thing. They had hidden it out of the way where no one would find it. If they stuck a Focus centre stage on the stand they would get a huge amount of interest and they'd want to sell them here.

Oh, and one more thing on that kent...it's a horrible, rattling, gutless, oil dripping, brand new kent!

[MichaelC]

The worst courtesy car ever is the one I have today. A Pug 206 GLX. A dealership have a fleet of the whole things, but I seem to get the same one every time. It's a truely terrible piece of machinery, and I could probably run faster than it goes. Rear visibility is ****, and the interior is less than plesant too. Plus they took the CD player out so there's only the radio for company.
Although I guess at least I do get a car, and it's marginally better than the 406 Diesel Estate they gave me once...

[MichaelC]

I can't believe I got censored for that!!