LM ablutions

skid marques · 1 Jun 2003, 23:53 (Ref:617300)

Sunday morning at LM has a special atmosphere. But, in order to enjoy it to the max you have to follow normal ablutions. At LM, the facilities tend to be.. errr.. fairly rural in nature. (Some teams even take special tents with them just for the purpose of avoiding the over-used facilities.) In 1991 I woke up bright and early, ate my bran flakes as per routine, and went to find some solitude in a Portaloo without a queue (Brits don't like queues). One such facility was located in isolation in a tarmaced area inside the circuit near to where the east paddock exit was. A single unit Portaloo with no queue- ideal! On entering the facility I became immediately aware of a pair of ceramic footprints flanking a brown scale model of the great pyramid. It was a large scale model. In order to contribute my merquez frites inspired addition to the model, a plan of action was required if I did not wish to add to the already track-soiled appearance of my jeans. Please use your imaginations, to some degree, as the environment was none too pleasant. The facility was flushed via a PVC pipe from a tank at ceiling height, which I presumed would hold my weight if I clung to the pipe during necessary activity. The risk assessment was performed to an incompetent standard, as in the middle of my performance the cistern and the pipework parted company from the side of the portaloo, emptying contents directly over my head, and additionally diluting the contents of the material I was in the course of adding to. As a result, the floor (on which I was struggling to maintain a grip) became extremely slippery and I slid down to add my corpse onto the fetid mound. After recovering my composure, I exitted the facility to find a queue had formed, headed by the most gorgeous looking blonde I'd ever seen in my life. Did I pull? What do you think? Reason for the post? To add to the list of essentials for LM, 4 bin bags to enclose stinking trainers and other clothing items contaminated by various unforeseen means.

**Aysedasi** · 2 Jun 2003, 06:15 (Ref:617409)

Great story skid, and welcome to the forum.

My similar escapade (with less personally damaging resuts) goes back to 1987, my second year at Le Mans. In those days, I still tried to grab an hour or two of sleep during the night. I woke up about 5 am with stomach ache. By 6 am it was quite bad and I really needed the loo. I couldn't find any reasonable facilities anywhere, so being a relatively naive person at the time, I just hung on.

By about 1 pm (yes, 1 pm), I was in a very bad way indeed. Severe stomach ache had set in. We travelled out to the Mulsanne and managed t park up near the Kink. There was a restaurant there (is is there still?) and it had a loo. I destroyed it - single-handed. After I'd finished with it, no-one could go near it.

It took me about 5 years to live that down. I didn't feel better again until about 5 pm on Monday.....

the_fury · 2 Jun 2003, 12:34 (Ref:617700)

Yep, if there's one thing I can recommend about MRI is they do lay on a decent khazi – though even they could benefit from some air conditioning

danhx · 3 Jun 2003, 01:01 (Ref:618624)

Sounds like it's a good thing that it's not the 24 Hours of Mexico City...Montezuma would have a field day with that one!!

**Aysedasi** · 3 Jun 2003, 06:59 (Ref:618829)

Yes, every year I go I dread the return of the 1987 "revenge"......

jpchenet · 3 Jun 2003, 19:35 (Ref:619585)

Mental Note To Self:

Take LOTS of Imodium Extra!!!!

**Aysedasi** · 4 Jun 2003, 07:01 (Ref:620073)

Quote:

Originally posted by jpchenet
Mental Note To Self:

Take LOTS of Imodium Extra!!!!

Take them with you, but try not to take them! I had a problem a few months back and took two Imodium Extra. Trying to be reasonably delicate, but getting the "job" done after that was a difficult experience......

pirenzo · 4 Jun 2003, 07:24 (Ref:620096)

Please people! Not while i'm eating my breakfast!

danhx · 5 Jun 2003, 17:16 (Ref:622046)

Drivers = testicular fortitude
Spectators = intestinal fortitude

skid marques · 5 Jun 2003, 18:22 (Ref:622091)

A further warning to LM first-timers. It is not unusual at LM for females to use the gents (especially at the village) due to the long queue for their facilities. When I say they use the gents, I don't mean the WC, I mean the urinals. No need for embarrassment on your part, as they're likely to be facing the opposite way to you. Said females themselves demonstrate little potential for embarrassment . (Ayse- I do watch some of the race, at least as much as watching the loos).