New Rules for 2001

[steve nielsen]

Apparently the FIA are introducing even more rules to spice up F1,
increase overtaking and help other teams challenge the top two.
They include:


1) Michael Schumacher to start the race 20 minutes after everyone
else. He must also tow a caravan and stop for a compulsory cup of
tea on the hard shoulder at least once during the event.


2) Minardi can start the race immediately after Saturday qualifying.


3) Prost can start on the Friday.


4) Both McLaren drivers will drive a two seater with a weight
penalty:
* Mika will ferry Erja around so at last there will be a reason
for the TV crews to keep panning in on her.
* DC will have to have all Mika's trophies in the back.


5) Any bald designer called Adrian will be declared illegal.


6) A take off ramp will be installed at the left-hand side exit of Eau
Rouge for any driver wanting to overtake on the following straight by
flying directly over the cars below. BAR will build it and Villeneuve
and Zonta will test it (again).


7) Car designs to be radically changed. Moveable and removable
rear wings will be allowed (as tested by Sauber in Brazil) and the
new 'LDG' or Lucky Dip Gearbox (as used by Hakkinen in Monaco)
will be introduced. When activated the LDG will select any gear
apart from the one you want, thus helping to 'FUAL' , ie: to F*@k
Up A Lap. Jaguar are believed to have extensively tested LDG on
Herbert's car this season.


8) To add an element of surprise and worrying uncertainty, Taki
Inoue will be appointed as the new Safety Car Driver.


9) Selected but unspecified cars will be fitted with a Walkerometer.
This fly by wire device will be connected from the car to a decibel
meter in the ITV commentary box. When Murray's decibels reach a
pre-set level then the car(s) on screen at that precise moment will
be given a turbo boost of around 250bhp for 10 seconds.
Schumacher's car will be put into reverse. Any car that Murray
says will win will instantly grind to a halt. (The FIA have been using
this last device unofficially for the last few years).



as recieved by email by someone on the Verstappen forum

[Gerard]

LOL

[Liz]

Anyone showing a [silver car] on screen for more than two seconds will have to pay a royalty.

The Spanish Grand Prix will be run entirely by test drivers, to try to give it a little interest.

Only one Prost will be allowed on the track at a time. Directly the first one crashes out, the other will take the field. All Prost laps will be cumulative.

Once Zonta makes it around five laps, every one after that counts double.

Once Johnny Herbert makes it off the grid, every lap counts double.

No winner shall be declared until at least the fifth lap of any race. If the race is more than 70 laps long, the winner shall not be declared until Lap 10.