Fantasy Formula 1 race!

[Raoul Duke]

Ok, here's the deal. All 22 drivers are given equal cars. So NOBODY has a mechanical advantige over another, not even in the slightest. It's up to you to choose the results you would most like to see happen. You can even choose the track on which the race is taking place.

Here's my pick.

Track: Spa(relies heavily on driver skill and less so on equipment)

Pole Position: Ralf

Race Results:

1. Ralf(who else?)
2. Villeneuve(a Tough worthy driver)
3. Fisichella(good driver not enough breaks to show what he can do)
4. Coulthard(I'd like to think that He can be a very good driver when he wants to be)
5. Montoya
6. hmmm, tough choice, maybe Verstappen, or Alesi

all 22 drivers finish.

TGF finishes last and prooves that he's really not that good of a driver when he's evenly matched with the rest of the field(I wish).

[Jeanburrasca81]

Yeah you wish...hehe.

1. TGF
2. Alesi
3. Alsonso
4. Verstappen
5. Trulli
6. Raikkonen

The only way to go is this one...!!!...lol!

[kuchi]

Well now this is Fantasy indeed. Ok lets see here are my picks.

Track: Monaco, I can´t think of any other circuit to prove which driver is the best of them all.

Pole:Montoya
1. Montoya(he is good and you all know)
2. TGF(well he is not the best but I must admit he is good)
3. HHF(finally he proves what he is made of)
4. From here anyone but mazzacane and marques, I don´t care.

[F1FansClub]

Ally Mitchell's Fantasy F1 Race Report

This race report was entered into a competition in which I won 2nd prize which was a Jaguar hat (now moulded firmly to my head), a F1 book and a Ferrari notebook. Unfortunately, it bends the rules of this thread by the drivers having specified cars but it is like Michael is in the Minardi and Heidfeld is in the Ferrari. Also it is from last season but should still supply you with a laugh or two. Hope you like it!

Qualifying

This race weekend’s qualifying sees a slow start with only Michael Schumacher’s Minardi coming out for it’s usual ‘advertising’ run after almost 13 minutes.Unfortunately a slow puncture on his ‘’fast’’ lap sees him chuck in the lap,which could have really been the pole time. Later reports suggest some debris froma morning practice session crash had caused the puncture. Finally, this season,we see some real chaos as Ralf, who was so
annoyed at always beingsecond best brother decides to go over to Michael and totally kick him in.Michael is immediately taken, by helicopter, to the local children’s hospitalas there is no room in any of the other hospitals or at least that’s what theywant you to think! Away from all the confusion, Jean Alesi puts in a good lapof 1’36”075 and goes into provisional pole, only to be put out of theprestigious spot almost at once by Juan Pablo
Montoya who gets the first 1’35 of the day with a 1’35”979. The grid starts to take shape at the halfway markwith Montoya on pole, Alesi 2nd, Heidfeld 3rd, Trulli 4th and de la Rosa 5th. News reached us from Nagasaki Children’s Hospital that Schumi had received bruising to the head and ribs but will very likely be OK to race tomorrow and he is very lucky not to have anything worse after Ralf picked up that Bridgestone tyre.Just imagine the
headlines if he hadn’t been restrained…. ‘Ralf bounces Bridgestone tyre off brother’s head’ or ‘Bridgestone tyres – The bounciest ever’. Back in the action, Mika Hakkinen, on his first fast lap of the day, flies off the track after colliding with Frentzen’s Jaguar which swerved out of the way of a very familiar looking AOL Motor Sport Chat Host (if you haven’t guessed yet,Glyn)<g> Alesi, once again, picks up provisional pole with
a 1’35”813 and this time he doesn’t look like he will be challenged until Jarno Trulli in his BAR comes out and sets a 1’35”815, only 0.002 seconds off of Alesi’s time! A last gasp effort by Jenson Button sees him popping into 3rd spot and Mika Salo grabbing 4th place and so the final grid positions are as below, including an appeal by Michael Schumacher who claimed he got a 1’36”063 on “F1 Championship Season 2000” for the PS2
and so is allowed into 22nd and last place on the grid.

1) Jean Alesi - Sauber
2) Jarno Trulli - BAR
3) Jenson Button - Sauber
4) Mika Salo - Benetton
5) Juan Montoya - Williams
6) Jacques Villeneuve - Prost
7) Nick Heidfeld - Ferrari
8) Marc Gene - BAR
9) Pedro De La Rosa - McLaren
10) Gaston Mazzacane - McLaren
11) Pedro Diniz - Williams
12) Ralf Schumacher - Minardi
13) Eddie Irvine - Arrows
14) David Coulthard - Jaguar
15) Giancarlo Fisichella - Jordan
16) Jos Vestappen - Benetton
17) Rubens Barrichello - Arrows
18) Heinz-Harald Frenzen- Jaguar
19) Olivier Panis - Ferarri
20) Luciano Burti - Jordan
21) Mika Hakkinen - Prost
22) Michael Schumacher - Minardi - After Appeal

Race

Michael Schumacher was back in time for the race but was said to have still been suffering after the attack on him by Ralf. A cloudy start to the last day of the race weekend has the team's meteorologists putting out forecasts for rain with most teams saying a useful 'between laps 1 and 57' <g>. Here comes the lights for the start of the race... 1....2...3...4...5...pause... GO! But once again, there is confusion as everybody gets off the grid except
Michael Schumacher. (I like making bad things happen to him ) Later reports and a confession from Minardi tell us that they tried to bribe Max Mosely and Bernie Ecclestone to try and help them win the race but stupidly enough, just like Minardi always are, they use too much money and have to sacrifice fueling Michael up for the race.

At the first corner Verstappen who made up 3 places was shunted off by Eddie Irvine who was lucky enough to manage to get back to the pits for a new nosecone. The race weekend which had seemed chaotic enough already was away to get worse. Lap 7 and the meteorologist are right... it did start raining between laps 1 and 57. This means everybody has to pit in for wet tyres but with Olivier Panis' stop he accidently drives over Cheif Mechanic (Nigel
Stepney)'s toes and so with him hopping around like a belly dancer Panis sits there for an extra 30 seconds. The next 10 laps see a big fight between Jacques Villenueve, Juan Pablo Montoya and Jean Alesi for the lead with Alesi finally taking a trip to the gravel trap which he is lucky to recover from. Lap 20's order for the top 6 is...
Salo, Trulli, Button, Villeneuve, Montoya and Alesi.

The secong half of the race has Panis' engine blowing up for the first time this season and so in doing so, he leaves oil everywhere as he tries to recover the car back to the pits. And if the track wasn't wet enough already from the rain. Was the oil a trick or something because everybody skids on it except David Coulthard who seemed to know it was there and cautiously makes his way past it and in the process he makes up 8 places from 13th to 5th. A
stewards enquiry is still going to see whether is was a bribe. Then that familiar AOL host returns but this time with an accomplice who's hair is on fire (BURNing <g>). This helps Coulthard by the two hosts disrupting the two drivers in front of DC. This puts him up into 3rd now! 5 laps later and Ralfie moves up several places with some storming laps including the fastest lap of the day of 1'38"082 to 4th place. By this time it was time for the first
scheduled pit stops with Jarno Trulli in the BAR coming in first and boy did he time it wrong! Just as he leaves the pits with a set of wets, the rain stops! The teams try to keep their 'players' out as long as possible so the track can dry a bit but it gets a bit too late for McLaren as both their drivers had ran off the track into the tyre barriers. Don't you go thinking all the chaos is over yet. Marc Gene in the 2nd BAR hyperventilates on
lap 41 with all the excitement of being up in 2nd place behind Mika Salo as he has never done so well in his life before. So far, on lap 42, the standings of the top 6 are.....
Salo, Coulthard, Ralfie, Villeneuve, Montoya and Button.

The last part of the race has a lot of chopping and changing between places including Diniz having a major suspension failure just like Johnny Herbert's last race in Malaysia. Unfortunately Diniz sustained a fractured but may be back in time for the next race but it is looking uncertain. Suddenly we are onto the final lap and Salo, who had lead the race for sooooo long about 45 seconds ahead of everybody else, was only meters away from the finishing
line but his engine blows up!!!!! A desperate man, he gets out and literally starts pushing the car and actually manages. Later on after the race he is disqualified as the rules stat that you aren't allowed to manually power the car or something along that lines The race is over and the final standings are.....

1) David Coulthard - Jaguar
2) Jacques Villeneuve - Prost
3) Juan Pablo Montoya - Williams
4) Ralf Schumacher - Minardi
5) Giancarlo Fisichella - Jordan
6) Jenson Button - Sauber
7) Jean Alesi - Sauber
8) Heinz-Harald Frentzen - Jaguar
9) Rubens Barrichello - Arrows
10) Luciano Burti - Jordan
11) Nick Heidfeld - Ferrari
12) Ediie Irvine - Arrows
13) Mika Hakkinen - Prost
14) Jarno Trulli - BAR


Done!

Ally

[F1FansClub]

The references to the AOL Chat hosts are as follows...

"Jaguar which swerved out of the way of a very familiar looking AOL Motor Sport Chat Host (if you haven’t guessed yet,Glyn)" - Glyn's full name is Glynis Ford and was the person who ran the competition and is a mad Jag supporter.

"Then that familiar AOL host returns but this time with an accomplice who's hair is on fire (BURNing <g>. This helps Coulthard by the two hosts disrupting the two drivers in front of DC." - This once again points at Glynis Ford and also her sister (also a Jag fan and AOL host), Petronella and the reference to BURNing is that Pet(ronella)'s aol host name is UKHostBurn.

This is just to clear up any misunderstandings that there may have been.

Ally

[badoer fan]

1. Badoer
2. Alesi
3. Alonso
4. TGF
5. Marques
6. Hakkinen

Yes, I know having Badoer's cheating a bit, but I don't care!

[Tristan]

1. TGF would p iss on them all. Sorry, he would and anyone who says otherwise is delusional, quite frankly.
2. Mika
3. Trulli
4. Alesi
5. Villeneuve
6. Ralf
7. Montoya remebering he has to learn the track
8. Irvine
9. Heidfeld
10. Rubinho

[Orange]

OK.....
Pole- TGF (I really think he is that good)

1. TGF
2. Jaques
3. Ralph
4. Alesi
5. Mika
6. Button
7. Panis
8. Trulli
9. DC
10. Kimi

(ok, I know this looks a lot like my usual "pick the winner" list... I guess I'm just a crazy optimist..)

[Frankmd]

WTF is TGF, it sounds very stupid, but I really don't know who he is....

[Liz]

TGF is the local term for Michael Schumacher "That German Fellow." Of all the nicknames we have come up for on this website, that is the only one that stuck. (AMoffat has a variation on it but you can ask HIM what it means. )

It is not derogatory, just shorthand.

====================

My pick (and I am assuming that the equal equipment was the 1979 spec cars:

1. Alesi
2. Jos
3. Jacques
4. Montoya
5. Trulli
6. Nik

TGF, having taken the car out for two laps, sits sobbing in the pitbox because he is afraid to drive a car that is not a reinforced cocoon, when other guys are actually driving like men and he might get hurt. (See 1993 highlights film where he is crying to his crew about Senna's behaviour, and the Autosport article in which he says he was frightened driving the 1982 Ferrari, much to Patrick Tambay's amusement).

Mika finds the car too hard to drive and gives up early; Eddie finishes well down the order but says he really likes the cars; Panis, Frenzy and DC each say that within two races they will have the masure of the cars and will be fighting at the front. Everyone else ends up in the gravel or the grass, but are very eager to get out there and drive again, as they finally understand what real race cars are like!

The current field of F1 cars are sold to Teamworks Karting, who open a Teamworks F1 track; as they can be driven by any monkey, they charge $30 per lap and very shortly retire with more money than Bernie.

P.S. I love the idea that TGF would sneak onto the grid because he made a good score on Playstation! That's just what he would do.

[TeddyG]

1.) Jacques!!!! (big surprise from me but he is the fastest)
2.) TGF (he's good have to admit)
3.) Alesi(awesome driver)
4.) Verstrappin (so much respect from me after Maylasia)
5.) Ralf (an excellent driver)
6.) Trulli (I don't know what it is but every time I see him he just looks like he's going so damn fast!)

[Liz]

Trulli is very fast. Did you see how fast he could run at Montreal 2 years ago when Jeannot was chasing him through the infield?

[EERO]

Teddy, I deleted your double post.

I'd put TGF first.
2)Jacques
3)Alesi
4)Montoya
5)Ralf
6)Verstappen

[Ray Bell]

Just when I thought I was going mad, someone asks the question for me and I find out who TGF is...

I'm sure Coulthard would beat Hakkinen, Panis would beat more than you'd reckon and Alesi would jump up in the standings with some newfound enthusiasm, probably dicing with Montoya all the way...

Jacques, of course, would be finally found out... either the winner or mid-field, depending on how good he really is.

[Frankmd]

Well, in dutch, there is the word 'mof' for the gemans, wich is a result of the second world war...
I guess it has something to deal with that... BTW>>> I am a fan of Schumi, so...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My guess:

TGF (hehe)
Trulli (I think he is becoming a great one...)
Alonso, maybe on spot 2 but OK...
Schumi Junior
JV (Jos ofcourse)
JV (the other one...)

:lol: Please don't say i post smiley's (or greamlins as we like them to call...) because I am a junior... (or rookie...)

[Frankmd]

wtf, why does it not work???

well i didn't like this one anyway