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Old 18 Jun 2000, 14:59 (Ref:17773)   #1
Sparky
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Sparky should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid


Your finest witticisms please!




I reckon Ralfie's saying:

1. Now the last time I got in this thing, it hurt like hell. You are sure it'll be OK?

2. Is this helmet hoist and curly cable really necessary? I can hold my head up, you know!
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 15:54 (Ref:17780)   #2
TimD
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TimD should be qualifying in the top 3 on the gridTimD should be qualifying in the top 3 on the gridTimD should be qualifying in the top 3 on the grid
Ralf: A word to the wise - next time you hire Ronnie Corbett to substitute for me, make sure you find him a cushion to sit on.
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 15:58 (Ref:17781)   #3
TimD
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TimD should be qualifying in the top 3 on the gridTimD should be qualifying in the top 3 on the gridTimD should be qualifying in the top 3 on the grid
Or alternatively...

Technician (on right): Now, hold still, Ralf. I'll have that carpet tack out in a jiffy. Now someone go find young mister Junquiera. Frank wants words with him.
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 16:00 (Ref:17782)   #4
RIKB
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RIKB should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Well I dunno what you've sat in Ralf!
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 16:14 (Ref:17787)   #5
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fatbloke should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Come OUT of there, Michael, don't be scared of DC! Just have a word with Bernie and get him to throw him out of another race... THEN you might be able to beat him this year...
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 16:16 (Ref:17789)   #6
Rated R
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Rated R should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid

Spank!
(Mechanic with glasses):"That's for ruining the car in Monaco last race."
Spank!
(Other mechanic):"Do you have any idea how much one of these costs, uh?"
Spank!
(Supervisor with sunglasses-thinking):"Jee, I wish I were in his place-sounds like heaven compared with what Frank did to my sorry arse the other day..."
Spank!
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 19:37 (Ref:17801)   #7
RIKB
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RIKB should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Bend over Ralf. Bernie says you must be punished for using naughty words! Like "F1 and Grand prix"
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 19:50 (Ref:17810)   #8
WoodyTJ
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WoodyTJ should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid

"Who's been sitting in MY seat"?
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 19:51 (Ref:17811)   #9
Mr.S
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Mr.S should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Ralf: I'm gonna throw up.
Tech: No, No take the helmut off first.
Ralf: Too late.
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 20:04 (Ref:17819)   #10
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Mr.S should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Tech: Ralf, do you know how hard it is to remove urine stains from carbon fiber?
Ralf: ... I'm sorry.
Tech: Now I want you to think about what you've done.

Background:
Guy in hat: Roger, willco, ten fore, affurmative.
Other guy: Oh would you shut up.
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Old 18 Jun 2000, 22:54 (Ref:17872)   #11
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Minardi fan should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
hehehehe

Geez Ralf - I knew Bruno was upset at not getting to drive this weekend, but I didn't think he'd take it quite so badly. Now, where did I put the pliers?


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Old 19 Jun 2000, 13:26 (Ref:17970)   #12
Devlin
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Devlin should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Button: "This is a great idea - I've put Ralfie's helmet on, now I'll have my picture taken pretending I'm afraid of getting in the car, and just MAYBE Sir Frank will fire HIM instead of me..."

Mechanic: "It's allright, Ralfie-boy, I'm holding it down, it won't hurt you."
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Old 19 Jun 2000, 13:56 (Ref:17989)   #13
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Liz should be qualifying in the top 10 on the gridLiz should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Ralfie: "Are you sure this is my car? I thought mine was newer than this."

OR:

Mechanic: "Okay, Frenzy, I've locked Ralf in the washroom as planned and there's his helmet - now get in there and win the race! I want to see Sir Frank's face when you pull off your helmet in Parc Ferme!"
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Old 19 Jun 2000, 14:38 (Ref:18009)   #14
Sparky
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Sparky should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Welcome back Liz!!

Are you 'home', or on a connection in deepest Europe?
Was it good? Who did you meet? Did you get me a souvenir?
Have you got an Audi T-shirt? Did you see anyone else famous?
Hey! You could stay in Europe until Goodwood and Snetterton!! Thought of that?!?

Tell..! Tell..!
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Old 19 Jun 2000, 15:03 (Ref:18017)   #15
Liz
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Liz should be qualifying in the top 10 on the gridLiz should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Sparky:

1. I am at Chez Bluebottle having a quiet day watchng football and sorting my loot.

2. It was the most fabulous experience I have had in a long long time and I don't even mind that some of my clothes will never come clean and I have sunburn like a NASCAR redneck.

3. Didn't meet anybody, but I can say with perfect honesty that on the Male Babe Scale, Le Mans rates somewhere considerably below sea level. (On the other hand, a Dutchman tried to pick me up.)

4. Yes I brought you a souvenier, even if you won't let me cheer for Muller at Snetterton. Incidentally, Muller is pictured in the Le Mans program which must make Aiello so pleased - more people recognized Muller than him, I bet. (We seriously considered making a large sign that said ARSE and holding it up at the Dunlop Curve when we knew Laurent was in the car, but our mothers' teachings prevailed. That and the fact thatwe didn't have anything to write with.)

I wish I could stay here until next January, but can't think of a way to do it. So it's home on Tuesday to cope with tobacco legislation until July 5 when I leave for Snetterton.
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Old 20 Jun 2000, 09:57 (Ref:18186)   #16
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Tristan should be qualifying in the top 10 on the grid
Ooooh! Snetterton! I live there!!!! And very nice it is too. Check out the marvelous (!) cathedral city of Norwich (which is in fact where I riside) and very nice it is too. However, I'll be sunning it in Corfu so there :-p
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