|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
22 May 2001, 10:52 (Ref:95129) | #1 | ||
Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 2,485
|
Classified ads
Used Car Classifieds Translations
If the ad says…. it really means…. MUST SELL… before it blows up. RUNS FINE… I was going to say "runs excellent" but I had a last minute attack of conscience. NEEDS SOME BODY WORK… was side-swiped by a Winnebago. WELL-MAINTAINED… I occasionally changed the oil. LOOKS LIKE NEW… just don't try to drive it anywhere. ALL ORIGINAL… I never had anything fixed, adjusted, or replaced. LOADED WITH OPTIONS… each one more troublesome than the last. NEVER SMOKED IN… unfortunately, that's the best thing I can say about it. PROJECT CAR… I can't figure out how to finish it and I doubt you will either. LOTS OF POTENTIAL… to drive you insane. NEEDS MINOR REPAIR… doesn't run. ENGINE QUIET... uses 90-weight oil PARTS CAR... beyond repair. ROUGH CONDITION… too bad to lie about. IMMACULATE... recently washed. CONCOURS... recently waxed. NEEDS MINOR OVERHAUL... needs engine. NEEDS MAJOR OVERHAUL... phone the junkyard. BURNS NO OIL... (it all leaks out). REBUILT ENGINE... cleaned the spark plugs. DRIVE IT AWAY... I live on a hill. DRIVE IT ANYWHERE... (within 10 miles). DESIRABLE CLASSIC... no one wants it. RARE CLASSIC... no one wanted it even when it was new. STORED 20 YEARS... (in a farmer's field). RAN WHEN STORED... won't start. NEVER APART... bolts too rounded to loosen. SOLID AS A ROCK... rusted solid RESTORED, WITH 0 MILES... won't start. RESTORED, WITH 2 MILES... won't stay running. OLDER RESTORATION... first owner washed it. GOOD INVESTMENT... can't be worth much less. NO TIME TO RESTORE IT... can't obtain parts. 95% COMPLETE... other 5% doesn't exist. CLEAN… homeless dude at 5th and Main did the windows. GOOD TRANSPORTATION… It's ugly as sin. ENGINE BLUEPRINTED… I don't know what it means either. EXCELLENT GAS MILEAGE… It's slow. LOW MILES… the odometer was turned back. ONE OWNER… can't give it away. SURE TO APPRECIATE… that's why I'm selling it. . . .OR BEST OFFER… I'm guessing here. OTHER INTERESTS CONFLICT... spouse's ultimatum: "Either that #!!@&## thing goes or I do!" I bet everyone at some time has turned up to look at a car that is described as an absolute glamor, only to turn up and find a piece of junk rusting in the back yard. I know i have |
||
__________________
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either |
22 May 2001, 11:20 (Ref:95138) | #2 | ||
Ten-Tenths Hall of Fame
Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 7,643
|
Shane, these are classic. The Trading Post should put these at the front of very edition.
|
||
__________________
#Keepfightingmichael |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Classified Ads | F1FansClub | Announcements and Feedback | 2 | 24 Feb 2001 09:03 |
The Classified Ads Thread - a sponsorship suggestion | TimD | Announcements and Feedback | 1 | 22 Feb 2000 23:02 |