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7 Aug 2003, 14:19 (Ref:682027) | #1 | ||
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Pork pie safety hazard
It's official. the most hazardous substance known to marshal, is not methanol, not brake fluid, not the chemical they put in thunderbox toilets. It's actually the deceptively humble pork pie!
Ken Watts proved this conclusively at Castle Combe last Saturday. We all cowed in fear when he removed his pie from it's safety enclosure (bag) during a break just prior to a classic FFord race. So noxious was the pie that he was forced to spit it out before serious poisoning ensued. Within minutes, the pie attracted an incident, and rather scarily the car involved came to rest with the nose of the car less than two inches from the remains of the pie. Be warned - these pies are lethal and should not be taken to race circuits!! |
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I want a hat with "I only wanted one comb" written on it. |
7 Aug 2003, 14:21 (Ref:682031) | #2 | ||
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Must have been a (Tyre) Walls Pie then!
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27 Years In Orange |
7 Aug 2003, 16:15 (Ref:682093) | #3 | |
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It only works on Ken. In Ireland, there's nothing more dangerous than a guy called Paul Keating with a flask of hot water and a tea bag - especially at a Rallycross! Here's the proof
However, I thought it was now official that Ken (and any of his BTCC posse) were to be searched for evidence of savoury pastries of any kind before being allowed on post? I think you need to lodge a complaint to your observer...... |
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If you feel that the circuit is not safe for racing, please go into the pits and retire. |
7 Aug 2003, 16:26 (Ref:682099) | #4 | ||
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I can confirm that Sainsbury's pork pies or any pork pie bought from then have been decalared safe. I have eaten hundreds of them to get my figure and not one has yet to cause an incident. (Did I really say that when I am going to Donington on Sunday.............)
Last edited by Malc's; 7 Aug 2003 at 16:26. |
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Warning - Motorsport is dangerous let's keep it that way. |
7 Aug 2003, 16:28 (Ref:682103) | #5 | ||
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Would you want to pat Ken down for secuirty?
Neither would I |
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I want a hat with "I only wanted one comb" written on it. |
7 Aug 2003, 17:43 (Ref:682141) | #6 | ||
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Yes, the pork pie problem is well known, and I have seen it happen many times. I can also confirm that opening the wrapper on a Yorkie bar causes a harmless spin (the marshal in question opened it only after hesitating several times, but upon finally deciding to go for it the response was instant). Finally a Toffee Crisp once caused simultaneous spinning at Rockingham, where the post was between two sections of track and affected the car on each side.
Suffice to say, I vet all foodstuffs eaten on my post during sessions, and pork pies are banned while the track is live, except when the CoC is passing. Anyone have any other banned substances? |
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Bill Bryson: It is no longer permitted to be stupid and slow. You must choose one or the other. |
7 Aug 2003, 18:11 (Ref:682158) | #7 | ||
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Noxious packed lunches at Combe!! I thought that was Dave Wass' department!!
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[FONT=Arial][COLOR=Red]Crikey! That's gonna hurt in the morning son![/COLOR][/FONT] |
7 Aug 2003, 21:11 (Ref:682275) | #8 | ||
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Quote:
Formula Fords to the uninitiated!!! she looks at them, they fall off!!! (record is 14 in ONE incident!!) and the I/O thought I was joking when I warned him about what would happen the following day when SHE turned-up!! We've all done the "open coffee, oh God they've gone off" but some things/people are just more dangerous. Who else can have more Incidents in a Top Paddock than the rest of the Hill has during a weekend??? Anyone else want to marshal with her.......??? PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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7 Aug 2003, 21:36 (Ref:682306) | #9 | ||
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I`ve marshlled with Mrs Crazystu and enjoyed it - despite narrowly missing the wheel off the mini!!! Any novices - this is the place to go to get experience!!!!
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You Stupid Boy! |
7 Aug 2003, 22:20 (Ref:682362) | #10 | ||
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Quote:
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Never explain–your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway |
8 Aug 2003, 00:16 (Ref:682444) | #11 | ||
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All things considered, I'd take Mrs.Stu over Ken's Pork pie any day. Well, any day that Formula Fords aren't racing by the sounds of it.....
Mind you, if I hungrily tucked into Mrs Stu during a lunch break, I'd imagine that would cause .... er ..... multiple accidents |
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I want a hat with "I only wanted one comb" written on it. |
8 Aug 2003, 00:18 (Ref:682446) | #12 | |||
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Quote:
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I want a hat with "I only wanted one comb" written on it. |
8 Aug 2003, 08:00 (Ref:682589) | #13 | |
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Royalridge Computing A LARGE Teapot Veteran
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Well I'm delighted to inform you that "Mr. Tea" will be at Oulton this weekend for the BSB - so best suggestion....... NO HOT DRINKS!
Oh and never underestimate the power of cigarette magic - doesn't cause incidents usually cos I'm a good girl and don't smoke during racing..... but it's very persuasive at getting cars out of assembly! |
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If you feel that the circuit is not safe for racing, please go into the pits and retire. |
8 Aug 2003, 15:24 (Ref:682968) | #14 | ||
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Snapper Baz is THE man to ask about Pork Pies. Best I don't say any more, I want to live another week or two....
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8 Aug 2003, 20:21 (Ref:683243) | #15 | ||
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Perhaps the Pork Pies should have a warning notice on the back of the wrapper along the lines of,
Warning Pork Pies can be Dangerous Despite the organisers taking all reasonable precautions, unavoidable accidents with dodgy pork pies can occur. Please comply with marshals instructions, they are concerned with your safety. There, that should sort it. |
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The Birthplace of Concorde. Welcome Home "Alpha-Foxtrot" |
11 Aug 2003, 07:33 (Ref:684729) | #16 | ||
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I'm trying to visualise 'marshalling' a pork pie. Not a pretty thought
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11 Aug 2003, 07:53 (Ref:684748) | #17 | ||
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Why not get pork pies to marshall they dont need breaks there are millions of them what more do we need.
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[FONT]=[Franklin Gothic Medium]STEVE[/FONT] |
11 Aug 2003, 11:24 (Ref:684890) | #18 | ||
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I think if you're going to deploy a pork pie during a session then it's only fair that you should display the wrapper during the green flag lap.
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11 Aug 2003, 11:36 (Ref:684907) | #19 | ||
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"Scramble the Pork Pies"
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The Priest Catcher Honoured recipient of the BARC Browning Medal |
11 Aug 2003, 11:48 (Ref:684920) | #20 | |
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I have found that some pork pies are so dangerous that they pose a hazard away from race circuits.
I was minding my own business eating my lunch when I took one bite out of a pork pie.. and the machine next to me caught fire |
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11 Aug 2003, 12:29 (Ref:684956) | #21 | ||
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Yep. Here we have proof that you're all mad. Pork pies indeed.
Works with Scotch Eggs too... |
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11 Aug 2003, 12:55 (Ref:684992) | #22 | |
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I have seen long-range buffet-sized Pork Pies tested quite comprehensively during a night touring car meeting at Silverstone a couple of years ago. Every time our snatch truck driver at Bridge ate one, Becketts got an incident! It was starting to get dark, tuscan's were out next. Snatch truck driver thought he'd best hang on until they got to us before 'playing' the last pie. So he waited, ate and then....RED FLAG!!! Several cars off at Beckets!
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11 Aug 2003, 13:31 (Ref:685029) | #23 | |||
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Quote:
The quality also plays a big part. For example a supermarket own-brand is likely to take a long time to work and may often be a dud. Whereas a bite out of a full-on Melton Mowbray will result in an instant pile of debris even in a desert. (See Scorch's post for an example!) |
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11 Aug 2003, 17:42 (Ref:685264) | #24 | ||
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Ginster pasties worked at Anglesey as well
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11 Aug 2003, 18:50 (Ref:685363) | #25 | |||
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Quote:
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Green bit slippy, black bit grippy. |
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