You Might Be A Racer If...

[KC]

Your doctor checks your reflexes by hitting your knee and your foot goes to the floor.

You've ever had to explain the term "pucker factor".

You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.

Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.

You plan your wedding around the race schedule.

Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.

You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.

People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.

People know you by your "off"s.

You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.

After your answer to "How was your weekend?", the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"

A new racing catalog arrives in the mail and you disappear to the bathroom for hours.

You know that Orthodontic work is the equivalent of three sets of tires.

You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of "Burger King".

You wonder why everyone doesn't drive a Suburban.

Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.

Your daughter was an SCCA member when she was 1 day old.

You always late apex the intersection and try to pass few cars coming out.

You always do a toe -&- heel down shift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.

You always want to change something in your street car to make it handle better.

You will gladly pay up to $6 for a bottle of engine oil.

You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.

You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.

You complain the seatbelts in the family car aren't tight enough.

You stick your arm out the window and raise it straight up before turning into your driveway.
You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.

You don't see anything unusual in cording a set of tires in just a few hours' driving.

You have a "home" toolbox and an "away" toolbox.

All the socks in your drawer are nomex.

You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

Your street car has last season's race rubber mounted on it.

You feel naked in your street car without a roll bar and a five point harness.

You can look the hotel clerk straight in the eye and say "Single bed room, and could I have some extra towels?".

You consider a test drive successful when you get the salesman to whimper.

You take your helmet along when you buy new eyeglasses.

You fix things around the house (kid's bikes, etc.) with grade 8 bolts and nylock nuts from your parts bins.

You created a huge fire in your back yard when you used left over Pure Firebird racing gasoline to light your charcoal grill.

You prepared for the purchase of a specific make and model of anything for more than 2 years.

Your junk bolts drawer is divided into 3 quality grades.

You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.

You try to explain to non racers that they don't have to be going over 100 mph to lose control of their car.

All your street car's tires are uni-directional and Z rated.

You will spend months evaluating replacement tire performance, but not once think of tire wear as a factor.

You,ll spend $100 for a battery that is 3lb. lighter, when you yourself are 25lbs over weight.

The minivan was ordered with a rear sway bar, heavy duty shocks and you are contemplating putting slicks on it.

You select pets based on their ability to survive a weekend alone.

You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.

Your E-mail address refers to your racecar rather than to you.

The UPS man can't believe that little box costs that much!

You have ever critiqued the driving skills of Daisy Duke.

You make turbocharger noises while walking down the street.

You always drive the perfect race line with the cart at the grocery store.

You cannot help but exclaim while following someone driving slowly, “Why did you buy that Corvette anyway?”

Your garage is full of cars that don’t run while your road car sits outside in the rain

[Liz]

All your children were conceived in the winter.

You always return rental cars after midnight by tossing the keys into the night box and running for the plane before anybody comes out to inspect them.

You can look a rental car return clerk in the face and say convincingly, "No, sir, those tires were bald when I picked the car up."

There is a large fan of rubber in the street in front of your driveway.

The garage will no longer replace your speedometer cables under warranty.

You have had your driving license for 20 years and the driving examiner who tested you is still trembling.

When writing advertisements for apartments "only minutes from downtown," prospective landlords call you to set the time.

Your watch will record split times for four cars to .001 seconds, but you are always late to work.

[racer10]

Those were great! I found myself being able to relate to many of them. And I thought I was the only one who does that stuff!

[DAVID PATERSON]

It's good to know I'm not the only one who read the list and said, hey yeah, that's me. Perhaps I'm normal......nah doubt it.

[Airhead]

No David, be afraid for you are not alone~!

If you try to scare the kids by drifting a rear wheel drive worked Celica around the corners of a dirt road when picking up one of their number - the kids that is.

When you tell the children to hang on and ride into town at 7/10's, Perhaps I'm the odd one out, but it worked for my old man.

[mtpanorama]

No guys, youre not the only ones.
I'm always in trouble from the wife for missing the white guide markers by millimeters as i try and apex the corners. Especially on the dirt road going to Wakefeid Park.

Are you also forever on the wrong side of the road straight lining it throught the corners?

Also are your tyre pressures at about 30-32 psi when the manufacturer recomends 26-28psi ?

mtpanorama

[DAVID PATERSON]

Oh yeah, gotta apex those corners, aren't roundabouts terribly exciting chicanes? Gotta go 4 pound extra in the tyres, too! If you miss a guide post by 6 inches, that's 5 inches wasted!

[Neil C]

David P you beat me to it. I was going to say you know you're a racer if you've memorized the apex's on the exits from the freeway on your way home from work.

[mtpanorama]

If you miss a guide post by 6 inches, that's 5 inches wasted!

But youre still wasting atleast 3/4 of an inch.

Dont you love the local councils who put in the "traffic calming devices"
We all know the ones. The little chicanes that the signpost at 25km/h and if you cant do at least 60 or more you are not trying hard enough.
Roundabouts were the best invention. Here in BAthurst we must have at least 15 or more of them. Freeway entry ramps are usually good value as well.

[elephino]

There's one of those calming devices near where I live...actually part of a nice little sequence.

90 degree right (with right of way at a T intersection), followed by a roundabout with a nice little dip in the middle (have to watch the fence on the outside), then a fast right left, then a reasonable speed bump, 90 degree left, downhill to the calming device which I've taken at 80 with ease.

[redback]

KC, the one about the lighter battery matches a few guys I know and Liz the last one about being late for work really hits home for me.

I was going to ask Mr. Panorama "What dirt road on the way to Wakefield?" but since you reminded me you live in Bathurst I guess you may take the Tuena / Crookwell road? I used to go camping in Tuena on Easter weekends many moons ago. Lots of bleery memories

[Neil C]

Originally posted by mtpanorama
I'm always in trouble from the wife for missing the white guide markers by millimeters

Your wife is right! You need to focus on eliminating those extra millimeters.

[mtpanorama]

Neil c,
The main reason for missing them by millimeters is a revision mirror for my XR6 Falcon is worth $125. I knpow because a guide post is exactly how I lost the first one(without the wife in the car)


Redback,
Exactly right
Its a great road when it is fairly smooth and dry. Went to wakefeild to the super tourers and the road was great. Able to hit 120km/h on some of the dirt and lots of sideways on the twisty bits, also an absense of the men with the disco lights on the roof on that road until you get to crookwell. I dont think they like the dirt

mtpanorama

[Airhead]

Or, after following someone in traffic for a while, you pull over out of the slip stream to get extra cool air into the radiator. You swerve on a half dry road to cool the road tyres. You stay up all night writing drivell on a motor-racing internet site.