Funniest non-Murray-Walker racing quotes

[BootsOntheSide]

We've had so many lists of the best Murrayisms, but what about some of the most apt or humourous quote from other racing figures?

How about:
"I got punched by Ayrton Senna after my first race, crashed in my second, wrote off four cars in my third and got banned from my fourth. People are going to think I'm some sort of nutter" (Eddie Irvine)

"Some guy back at the factory made a great start" (Irvine after the introduction of launch control)

"Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser. Period" (Keke Rosberg)

Brundle and Bernie's discussions are often fun, especially the one at Monaco when, following the Silverstone 2000 fiasco, they discussed the state of the 'car park', as they were so badly flooded that people had to go in by boat (the joke being that the 'car park' was the harbour

"You win some, you lose some, and you crash some" (Dale Earnhart)

[Kenny W.]

JACK BURNICLE was talking about COLIN EDWARDS' tyres on World Superbikes:
"Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

[kwd]

Love Eddie,adds levity to the sport,posted this web site in another thread but this one seems more appropriate.
http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/7864/ funny stuff.

[paul-collins]

Here's one from kwd's posted website:
"Australia 1995

"On Thursday evening Irvine was having a drink with some friends in the hotel bar. Schumacher came in and Eddie invited him to join them. "Michael, come and have a drink with us!" MS:"No thanks, I don't drink alcohol, I simply can't." Eddie replied: "Why? Are you pregnant?""

I think it was during the 1997 Belgian GP when Martin Brundle said "And Coulthard's tyres are absolutely rooted!"

[Asp]

I love one from last years Austrian GP on Williams' [sorry, BMW.Williams F1 Team's] team communications.

Team: Mind at turn (something of other), there's a deer on the circuit
JPM: What's a deer look like?
Team: It's like a cow with horns.

[BennyBoy1978]

I thought, JPM turned round and tried to crack a funny by saying Oh dear but his engineer didn't quite get the joke

[paul-collins]

On Speed last year, Monaco, with DC chasing Bernoldi - when the leaders came through and lapped them, David Hobbs said of DC, "well, he's certainly the master of letting people through."

[kwd]

Press reporter to DC:"DC, Michael and Ferrari look so dominant this year, do you think there is any way to surprise him?'-----DC:"Sneak up behind him and go BOO!"

[TimD]

Jerez 1997 was just after Jacques had bleached his hair for the first time. Martin Brundle on his grid walkabout declared the title decider to be between "Goldilocks on my left, or Golden Gonads on my right..."

[mac]

Some of Alessandro Zanardi's quotes were very funny.

At Barcelona in 1999. He retired in the pits when his gearbox broke at a pitstop. Louise Allen asked him what happened, and he said something like the following:

"I was driving around for a while, and I was thinking that my car wasn't good enough to get to talk to you at the end of the race, so I thought I would come in and talk to you now."

He made some journalists blush on Friday of Suzuka in '99 when someone asked him what he did last night to prepare for the weekend:

"I made love to my wife in the sauna," was Alex's reply.

I know its not F1, but my favourite Zanardiism came from an interview at Surfers Paradise, 1998. Being Italian, Alex doesn't have the greatest grasp of the nuances of American-English. He displayed this when asked about his chances in the race:

"You know, maybe if everybody roots me (sic), I will have a chance."

[jase]

I always remember a quote from Perry Macarthy at Silverstone.

Perry was in the Andrea Moda, had just left the pit exit when the car expired before he could bet onto the circuit. When asked by a jouno about his run he replied along the lines of that the car handled well through the corners but needed a bit extra on the straights.

[paul-collins]

Originally posted by mac
I know its not F1, but my favourite Zanardiism came from an interview at Surfers Paradise, 1998. Being Italian, Alex doesn't have the greatest grasp of the nuances of American-English. He displayed this when asked about his chances in the race:

"You know, maybe if everybody roots me (sic), I will have a chance."

Of course, this is even more funny because it occurred in Oz, where the word is common usage. (I've heard that the Canadian/US olympic clothier, Roots, has had their clothing banned from classrooms in some cases)

[kyalami]

Jean Alesi was asked to move over for Gerhard Berger in a earlier version of Ferrari's team orders. The order came from, guess it, Jean Totd.
Jean refused.
Afterwards, he got slapped with a fine from his own team and had something like this to say.
"Todt has been on my case on all year. He has broken my balls!"